She sounds good on the phone. She is 5 minutes away and is in my health plan.

She is a Psychologist and also deals with bipolar. I hope this isn't too good to be true.

It could not come any sooner. I read somewhere the 6 month mark after a loss is when a lot of people seek counseling. It is six months and his 28th birthday is coming up. I am so overwhelmed with sadness I cry most of the day. The quilt and flashbacks are haunting me. I just can't believe he is gone !

I started the Chris Powell 12 week weight challenge yesterday. The diet is going good, but exercise is hard. I am weaning off Seroquel and I think I am having withdrawal. It is so hard to move when you are very depressed too.

There are so many things that need to change. They say your environment/house is important to your well being. My house is very depressing right now. So messy and dirty and all the unfinished projects Jason and his dad started.

My husband is still nagging me. What does he want from me ? I started the diet, I got a counselor, I started to exercise, I did a little cleaning yesterday, I am getting off most my meds.

All this still isn't good enough for him he was still yelling at me and telling me you don't listen you need to this and this and this.
He comes home goes out in his 'man room'. Then he yells at me for awhile than I don't see him again.

It is so hard to be positive and so hard to find a reason to keep living.

I hope this psychologist is good and we hit it off.