Small update - I had the weekly session today, but had so many other things to bring up that I didn't want to sandwich this topic in between, especially as T's response is bound to really upset me (I have no reason not to expect a no.)

FKM that's another good question about whether getting a no would derail my therapy. Honestly I don't know, but I'm hoping that in true psychoT style I might be able to express all of how I feel about getting that no and it still be productive therapy (in fact I'd expect such denial feelings on my part to constitute the therapy itself, for a while anyway.)

At the moment though the therapy isn't really achieving very much and seems to be meandering around in the establishment stage, which seems to be dragging itself out somewhat, so it probably wouldn't take much to derail it. At one session a week I find the time lag in between is almost like having to start from scratch each session, especially when a session has been a bit flat or disconnected. I will see if I can be brave enough to ask him next week

tealBumblebee (great name by the way!) I like very much how you describe the way your therapy functions, with the out of session contact, and how your T doesn't mess about with responding but can be relied on to be consistent with it..

I must say I've hardly ever had a T who offered out of session contact, let alone was willing to encourage me to use it - probably only two out of over twenty Ts - and it was problems with the out of session contact that finished my last therapy (she tried to control and dictate what I was and wasn't 'allowed' to write in emails to her). So having the contact isn't necessarily the be all and end all either, it's how T responds to it...