Lilium, self injury is a complicated issue. Dealing with all the emotions and thoughts is tough to do on your own. Do you have a T.? I hated myself after I self injured too. I don't know what the answer is for you--we are all different. For me, I had to talk about all my pent up emotions (with a safe person). Once I started talking and learning better ways to cope the self injuring lessened and then went away entirely. Please get help--you deserve better....D.