I have suffered from depersonalisation, as in not really "feeling" who I am, looking for "myself", needing the mirrow to make sure I am still "there".

I have always thought this was just related to trauma.

But i read a book in which the heroine has the same symptoms, as in wondering if she´s really still "there" and pinching her skin to make sure.
but this is due to her mother and stepfather completely ignoring her and making her feel like she isn´t "there".

I was more or less ignored after my father´s death by my sister and mother and treated very differently, like I actually wasn´t the same person, like I wasn´t their sister/ daughter but someone strange and haven´t had contact to too many people.

So I wonder if this could be part of the reason or even main reason for it?

I have noticed I feel a lot more like "me" and who I am or was comes back to me when I meet with an old friend of mine from school, who I´ve known for years and and who knew me "before" it all happened. I don´t get to see her often though.

This may sound weird, but I also get soozed by watching my feet, because I have a picture of my feet from at the beach when I was 16 or so and when I notice how those are really the exact same feet, that comforts me.
Weird, I know....

(sorry about the "wher" in the title, was meant to be "where", but i can´t edit the title...)