I also am almost 40 and have accomplished nothing I had originally set out to do. I graduated college in 2002 with a bachelors degree in psychology with a concentration in biology at the age of 29 and than completely went off the deep end and ended up hospitalized for quite some time. In fact I was in and out of the hospital for the next few years. I eventually became disabled and still have yet to use my degree that I worked so hard to obtain. Now I finally have sorted my life out for the most part. I have a few medical issues that have also attributed to my not working and I have been working to get to a place where it is bearable and try to venture out into the work force again. A few month ago my children and I had to move back in with my parents because I needed the help. Now I am doing everything in my power to get to the place where I can become employed and stable and eventually buy my own home. I want to focus my time and energy on the future because if I dwell on the past nothing will come to fruition and eventually I would end up emotionally paralyzed again. I understand some of your feelings we have a few things in common. My advice forget about what happened in the past because you can't go back and change it and focus on what you want in your life and work toward making that happen. Even if what you are longing forward doesn't happen you will always be able to say you tried and you can be proud of yourself for that. Good luck to you and all your endeavors.