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candybear said:
She mentioned it to me when I saw her at Thanksgiving and I told her when I got paid next.

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That right there is your contract obligation you made with your sister.

Anyway, don't sink yourself financially in order to pay her in full, if you don't have to. If you have to neglect other bills in order to pay her, that is not good either! Maybe it would be best to try to work out a payment schedule - at least a temporary one that gets you through the christmas holidays, but then that means having to deal with her more, but hey! at least it's through e-mails now, right?

And about your health care power of attorney. If you are well enough, it should DEFINITELY be changed if you don't think your sister will act in your best interest and could react negatively out of spite. HOWEVER, If you trust her to maintain a level head (insofar as her formal duties are concerned) and feel you still need her to have that p.o.a., then allow her to keep it. My older sister may be a screaming freak with other things, but she is very level-headed when it comes to these types of matters and I would still trust her to act appropriately and continue to do what is best for me if she were put a position where she had to act.

My best friend is currently in the same position as you were. (except she's a full blown heroin and crack addict)

She was invited to stay with her older sister (in order to straighten up), but her sister puts so much pressure on her all the time, and nags her to no end about irrelevant and unnecessary things. It is really sad to see this taking place. Neither seems to realize how devastating this will be, not only for my friend, but for her sister as well. If I was a betting person, I would definitely put my money on my friend NOT being able to get clean with that kind of pressure (the nagging stuff, I mean) and so far, I would be winning major $$$$$. It's been over six months since she has been here and is just as bad as ever, possibly worse, because now she has to find money elsewhere (and not through her husband) and she doen't have a job; can't get it together enough to go to welfare; won't co-operate anyway, because she is an addict, and on and on it goes. This is her third try with her sister. You would think that both would wake up to the fact that it just ain't gonna work! Never would have because there has always been a current of animosity between them since our teen years (both are gorgeous - both "shared" many friends and even dated former boyfriends of each other - talk about no boundaries, eh?)

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You want to know the scary thing? This is the sib I get along with!

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Yep, I would say that is "scary," to say the least!

Poor you.

I so feel for you - honestly. I gotta hand it to you, if you can maintain family ties with all that stress, you must be one tuff cookie! Or a masochist - whichever... (joke)

I have yet to be able to even think about renewing ties with my sibs. But then again, it is easy for me because none of us have ever kept in touch. As a matter of fact, I believe that once my mother passes away, we will probably never see or hear from each other again, because it is only through respect for our mother that (most) of us show up for special occasions, otherwise contact between us is never made. That's how close we are. One would think this would be sad, but since I have never had those ties, it really doesn't bother me that much (or so I keep telling myself - not quite sure if I am just pulling the wool over my eyes on this one).

Sometimes, it is family that we must let go of (even if for only a short time) in order to heal ourselves, because in alot of cases, it is "familial sickness" that keeps us down. Know what I mean?

Candybear, I am not trying to cause more upheavel for you by bringing up some of these points, but I do think they are worth considering if the situation warrants it. I do not know how close you are to your family, or if there is always major strife, or if you and your sister are just simply ticked off at the moment.

I just want you to be safe and confident and maybe get a little happiness once in a while for yourself. That's all.

Take care, Candybear! (Hey, that rhymes quite nicely!)