Thanks to all 3 of you, I do appreciate your words and advice. Nothing is banal about anything you said George. You're right in saying the past is the past. I just wish I could get over the angst it's causing me wishing I could change things. I don't know how my life would go if I could, maybe it would have been worse, but maybe not. I know it could never happen and I wish it would just leave me alone. As my mom said, I was a late bloomer. I didn't move out of the house until I was 22. I tried to live farther away from my family when I went to grad school in South Carolina, but that didn't end well. I realize that I can't be far away from my family. I can be independent, but I don't have to live far. I had a good long talk with mom this evening and she did help cheer me up, and so did all of you. You're all right about not dwelling on the past. It does no good. I've done it for so long now that I don't know how to envision my future. But I'm going to try. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, and it may seem silly that it comes from the first Harry Potter movie, but it holds true. Dumbledore says to Harry, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."