I have been so depressed lately, and I keep thinking to myself, where has my life gone? I had 30 years to accomplish something, what have I done? Seriously, where am I headed? There are so many things I wish I could do over. I wish I could redo my life, at least from the time I graduated high school. It depresses me so much to think of all the things that could've happened. Instead I had a breakdown in 2001 and had to leave FSU, worked until 2002 when I started at a community college, and tried to make up my mind what to do. Why did I take so long to figure out what I wanted to do? Some people never figure it out

I got my associate's and started on my bachelor's still not sure of my path. So I choose one that I love, that's wonderful that you found something you love. again, not everyone does. eventually, and I graduate when the economy tanks.

I think grad school will be a good answer, so I try that. I have another breakdown and have to leave. I go through job after job from 2010 to 2012. I was thinking it was the jobs that were making me unhappy, and at the slightest bad day, I would quit. But it wasn't the jobs, it was me. that says a lot that you were able to self-reflect and be this honest with yourself

It took me from 2010 to last October to find a job in my field. and you found it!

I still feel useless. So I analyze your drinking water for you, I analyze what's coming in and going out of the poop plant I work at. Is this even meaningful? do you think it's meaningful? isn't that why you chose this field? i think it is very meaningful. you keep people and children and their animal companions safe and healthy

I certainly am not going to quit, I like my job, but I am unhappy with myself. I still don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything. I make sure the local water is safe to drink and play in. I make sure our effluent is safe. I monitor any events that come up.

I do outreach for children. But will any of this matter 50 years from now? I worked with children for many years and I believe that while i may never directly know, i do believe that i made a positive impact in their lives. if nothing else i got assurance that i did influence their lives when i consistently got positive feedback in terms of their wanting to spend time helping me during their recess and afterschool. kids are genuine and they only want to spend time with adults that are supportive and positive in their lives. Will anything I do even make a small impact on anyone? I keep thinking to myself,

I've had 30 years and what have I done? I'm not getting any younger. I can see minute wrinkles appearing on my face. i'm turning 50 in september and understand your angst. it was throwing me into a deep depression. i turned it around with changing my thinking. it wasn't easy. i just had to get fed up enough with the other way i was thinking. my life is not over. when i'm 80 being 50 will feel so young. i also decided to once and for all commit to action things that i want. i want to like my body. so i am physically active. i want to like my life so i finally made a clearing in my home from clutter. and now i can feel peace at home and pride. i have dreams and plans that i am in the process of making real. you have clearly shown that same determination in your efforts and success working in a field you love. what other dreams do you have? maybe now that you've achieved your career goals with this job, maybe you feel some loss. maybe it's time to choose another dream?

I haven't had a relationship in 10 years. I have no kids. I'm fat. I do my job, go home, sleep, and repeat. I have no life. But I don't know what to do about it! I can't seem to get motivated to do anything. I think my medication needs to be adjusted. that's a good idea.

But I can't remember to go to the doctor or to keep an appointment! My appointment was supposed to have been for the 22nd. Did I remember? No. I sleep a lot. I don't exercise except what I get at work. do you want to exercise more? can you start out small and hold on to the good feeling you get afterwards? can you take a walk at lunch or after work? even just every other day? i do that. i do some physical activity (prefer to call it that instead of "exercise on one day then give myself a break the next day and then the following day i want to do something again.

I want to feel cared about by someone other than family members and close friends. I want someone to need me and to love me. I'm still trying to work on a relationship with "him" but I'm not sure where that's headed. that's the nature of relationships often times. i am in a similar situation. all i can do is be present today. some people aren't close to family and have few if any close friends. that would be me. you're fortunate to have those relationships.

That's still up in the air. I feel so utterly useless. I feel like if I were gone, it wouldn't matter. Not that I'd ever do that, I wouldn't, but I feel like I'm contributing nothing to this world. Now I'm trying to live my life and make it fuller when I had 30 years to do that! I'm afraid when my mom eventually passes on, that will be the end of me. We are very close, and she is everything to me, and I'm so afraid that when that time comes, I won't be able to handle it. She had me to cling to when my grandma died. I will have no one. What good am I? I mean really? you are close to your mom and you mentioned you have close friends. of course you would be missed! it will be incredibly hard when your mom goes. and you will survive. just as she did when her mom left. you say you will have no one. you will have your other family members and close friends and a job you love. that is a LOT... and life is hard and it isn't fair. and it's all we have... you have a lot in your life. your focus just keeps playing tricks on you making you see what is lacking rather that what IS...