Thank you everyone for the replies.

It just hurts so much, not only emotionally but also physically. Knotted stomach, actual pain etc. I don't really know why. My T has talked a little about SE and always asks me where it hurts etc.

I just wish I had a mute button for my mind, or an off switch, like the TV.
I have been to work this morning, and am trying to keep busy, but keep getting a flash of this particular incident in my mind, like a photo frozen in time.

I think this is the hardest thing i have had to deal with so far, and it's hurting me