You sound a lot like me. I am technically diagnosed bipolar1, but I rarely have a true manic episode. My episodes are almost always depressive.

I do have to take meds as going completely without meds keeps the depression pretty debilitating, and as AD's alone are generally not a wise move, my pdoc generally has me on a mood stabilizer and an AD combined which keeps me fairly stable.

Right now I'm off meds because I was on lithium and have chosen not continue with lithium after my husband went through acute lithium toxicity last month that caused his kidneys to fail requiring dialysis. It was an entirely traumatic experience to watch, and I decided I just could not take lithium ever again. I will sit down with my pdoc and we will come up with a plan that will work.

I would refer to not have to take meds. I think most of us here would prefer to not take meds if there was a way that would work for us. Unfortunately, that isn't always our reality. I am fortunate to have a pdoc who hears me out and is willing to keep my meds down to the bare minimum. It's a compromise I generally can live with.

I do have an excellent therapist who has strong knowledge of bipolar disorder and meds so he is also helpful in working with me to manage my symptoms. It is vital for me to have that extra set of professional eyes on my symptoms so I can be as proactive as possible in heading off my episodes as early in the cycle as I can.

Good luck to you. I know there is a wealth of personal experience and knowledge on this forum.