I just read my girlfriend this post and asked her if she could try. She agreed to come with me to counseling after we move out of state and that is good, but she also feels that I don't really know who Ia m till this is over and I do know who i really am, I've always known.

What also bugs me is when I asked her if she could help me and stand by me the answer was: "I'll try my best", which to my greedy mind is almost like a no or maybe. She also has trouble expressing her feelings about me to me and what I have read so far says that reassuring is an integral part of the healing process.

She has told me she loves me without saying it and has told me she cares about me a lot and last night after i got jealous as I heard her ex trying to joke/flirt with her, she knows it will be OK in time, it is me who does not know that. She also wants me to go with her and start this new life and that is wonderful but I do feel the waiting is killing me, esp with her living there. Every day since last week when she came there i expressed how much I hate it and she says i know you tell me that every day.

Her lack of expressing things (which is not her fault, as I said she has had her own share of some real hell) but that she is doubting who I really am after I'm through this and the "I'll try my best comment" have me worried. She also mentioned that this is why people should not be in a relationship until they are clear and that one too scares the hell out of me as in my mind it sounds like she is one foot out the door, even though I now how retarded that sounds.