Wow! You've got a heavy load on your shoulders. I think you should check out these forums here at PC. I see you've been a member since 2012 but haven't posted much. Post more and people will give you good advice. I think that if this is meant to be with this girl then fate will make sure it happens. If you really love her then you must want the very best for her and for her children. Take a long look at the entire situation and ask yourself if she's in the best place for herself and for her children. And can you provide for her and those children? As much as it might hurt to do so, you must search yourself for these truthful answers. It also sounds like you've got some stuff inside you that you need to sort through too. I wish you only the best. Take care!