I really dont know if I have ever crossed the line into mania. I have never been hospitalized due to mania but have been hospitalized due to severe alcohol abuse (daily binge drinking for weeks) maybe then I was maniac but self medicating it?

Sense quitting alcohol and getting treatment a year ago. I clearly get hypo mania and depression. Im just unsure it it really turns into full out mania. I felt at certan times, my hypomania has started off as a racing mind, energetic, to walking into a store and feeling it more intensely and feeling very aggressive and 'powerful' almost like I did a bit of cocaine and went shopping. If someone looks at me i stare them down and I think to myself if someone tries to look down on me for too long I will start a fight and I look around at things I would use as weapons (cans of soup etc..) I wouldnt find any fun in starting a fight with a random person, but I just really want to find someone as aggressive as me, or someone to make a comment about my shoes being untied.

However I only feel this way for maybe a couple hours then I settle down, I dont feel it for days or weeks like what people say is mania. Its just that I really dont know if im BP1 or BP2 my Pdoc basically told me to google it and am unsure if it is considered mania if its only for a couple hours, triggered by crowded places?

I have told my Pdoc about how I felt in certan situations but he just asked what I wanted to do, which im not sure of. Anti psychotics calm me down but the side effects are not tolerable to me, so I dont take them.