I can relate , I am diagnosed with Bipolar too, was happy when I was young. It seems a lot of people are prejudiced against bipolars because they say we are mean or have no moral conscious. I know that is strong, but it is not always true. God is love and He has given us faith hope and love to give to others. I try to keep to myself so people don't stare at me or ask me serious questions. I do not try to mix with the church people too much. There is love and hope and finances and work though. Be good and just and loving and the Lord will help you. He is everywhere and all knowing and He created you for a purpose of goodness. I will pray for you and you will have joy , and peace and happiness. God bless , love, Nanette Tron