I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF



I am the biggest freaking idiot in the history of the world, and I never freaking learn.



I understand completely right now why some people choose to shoot themselves. But my weapon of choice is a blade. The thoughts of stabbing myself in the heart to watch it bleed and get all the crap out sounds pretty darn appealing right now.

(consider that me yelling at myself for being an incredible freaking idiot)

I don't deserve to live. I thoroughly deserve to hurt, though. I've never understood homicidal people, though I've been inpatient with some -- I've never had the urge to hurt anyone else. Hurting myself, that I understand, and that I have coming.

ARGH