(((((((((((((((((((Candybear))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry you must be hurting so badly. I know it is hard for you to belive right now but you really aren't the biggest idiot nor do you deserve to hurt yourself. I wish I could take away the rage you are feeling towards yourself. I guess I don't know what triggered all of this but I hope you soon realize that you don't need to hurt yourself. I know that sometimes that is very difficult at the time and I fully understand your feelings. Please try and be safe. I know I would hate to see you hurt yourself. You really don't have anything coming. Maybe you can come under my umbrella with me for a bit and we will just be. Pleae take care and know I care.