Sorry if I'm repeating anything anyone said but its 12:45am in UK and I'm tired haha but saw your post and wanted to reply and say writing down is good but as you said you can't really be bothered so maybe typing on word doc or even recording self on phone? Just so you're heard, even if you delete straight afterwards so no chance anyone else hears (if that's not what you want) I used to not be
Much of a talker as felt I was just in the way but started to find people I trusted and it helps to talk
I'm off to dream now x