Thanks guys, I will deffo post more especially as believe it or not I am very good with others crap but not my own lol!

Had a talk with her said we needed a plan and that I lover her and it could be so good if we get through the BS. Told her I will do everything I can to face every fear in me and even if it ends I can't give up myself cause I'm tired and just want to be happy for once in 35 years.

Besides forums like this, does anyone on here know of a telephone or chat based free psych service?