I wasn't entirely sure where to post this but I am most comfortable here so here we go.

I feel so confused and lost, my emotion feels like a big churning ball inside me that I can't get out. I've journaled for the past 30 min, I think it only made things worse tonight instead of helping. Somewhere I have lost myself and my passion and drive for what I love and now I feel like I will never get back to where I use to be. I am not very patient. I SH for the first time tonight, just a little cut but it was something I have really never done (I've always been able to handle it in different ways). It's really not that big, hardly even noticeable but it burns. Mostly because I know I gave it to myself. I don't know if it helped or not, I think I am still in shock I actually did it...i just felt like i needed to tell someone...gosh, what am I doing?