Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoda
You say you have been married twenty years and you now reside in CA. Have you always been in CA? It is my understanding that in CA if you have been married at least ten years you will get alimony and/or a division of assets.
You should talk to an attorney to confirm that is true in case you and he will divorce at some time. If it were me though I wouldn't mention to your husband that he would owe you alimony because I would not trust him to hide assets or even harm you to prevent you taking 'his' money.
If you both want to stay married do you think he would go to counseling?
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Yoda, yes, you're right about what you said. California is a 50/50 state. He has told me in the past that I won't get anything at all, not even my 13 year old car, ugh! I know that it's a BS scare tactic and called him on it. So perhaps that's why he's more controlling now and perhaps that's why he refused to pay for my credit card bills on the past. He wanted to make it harder to leave and to get a place of my own. He's smart and knows that having bad credit would make getting a job and my own place even harder than it already is with no job and a tarnished background, ugh! Thankfully I now have 2 low limit credit cards that he makes the minimum payment on every month. I have fought him tooth and nail to get him to help me out financially to some extent.
I told him that most women would not tolerate his BS and that what he's doing is verbal, emotional, and financial abuse. I used to be a doormat when I was younger, but I fight back now, but in a more matter of fact and logical way even when he's being irrational usually. I have even managed to get some information out of him recently regarding the IRS by emailing him a helpful link. He then told me a few details of some payments that he's made.
I won't know for sure if he's lying about things or not until he shows me proof, but I'll eventually get around to that. I'll keep on nagging him until I get the details on what I need to know. I don't trust him one bit and I'm going to start recording more fights with my cell phone hidden and I'll get around to getting him to show me financial documents.
I need to plan things methodically and carefully should I decide to leave him one day. I can't just get up and walk out. I need money, a place to stay, a job, a plan, etc...For now I'll get counseling and whatever training that I can get at a domestic violence shelter but I won't tell him about that of course!
Angie