Ok. Maybe we can help each other! My situation is the exact opposite. I am the husband with the disorder desperately trying to have a good life with my wife and two kids.

My biggest obstacle is my reactions to things when I am feeling "off", meaning I'm becoming depressed or hypo, or both. We call me being "off" when I start to show signs of either.

the obstacle is my reactions towards feeling off. You see, I've had this disorder since I was a child, so I have perfected my defense mechanisms throughout life. I was diagnosed only a year and a half ago, so I really haven't had much time to reconsider all of my defenses and such.

So my reaction to feeling depressed or hypo is to step back and distance myself from the way that I am feeling. I consciously ignore the impulses and justify the emotions. This is where I start being really careful around people. My main focus is on my behavior, mainly my responses and reactions to people. The problem is, is that my wife sees right through this. That's a problem because I don't know how else to deal with the changes and I'm just trying to keep things together for the sake of the family, you know, to keep things peaceful and problem free.

And the way that I feel when she calls me out on it is to immediately deny it. I get so upset about it because this is the only coping technique that I have. If I didn't deal with it, it would be a thousand times worse. I know it would be. But she asks me not to deal with it that way. Instead, she feels that if I'm just honest and tell her how I am feeling and what is happening, that it would make it better for me. But in reality, if I was to admit exactly what was happening, it would feed the fire and make it so much worse for me. I need to be able to deal with it the only way that I know how.

ugh.... so the tension about it remains when I start becoming one or the other. There are things that I can do to minimize the effects it has on the people around me. I don't suffer really bad episodes anymore with the meds that I am on... but I don't think that anything would take it all away.

So that is my struggle with my home life.

honestly, there is a resentment towards my wife when she calls me out on being off. It makes it really hard on me, puts a lot of pressure on me. she will never see how counter productive it is. But, at the same time, I can see why it freaks her out and I know her expectations based on my behavior. I wish that I could just get her to trust me to deal with it appropriately and not make it a big deal, like treat it like it's just a part of life and such. But based on our history, that may never happen and I will have to learn not to resent her when this happens, instead focus on understanding her. She puts up walls when I get that way, so it's not like I can try to reassure her either. It only adds to my frustration and makes it just that much more important to not screw up and react improperly... she reads my reactions.. so the only way that I can reassure her is through my reactions to everything. It's a lot of work, she will never know how much I try... but that's just life.

that's a little of what it's like for me on this end of things. What is it like for you?