I have recently been going through some of the same "questions" with myself. I think about how "he" made me feel special, how I was "his" number one!! My mom showed me love, and was a great mom, but she had other things that sometimes took priority over me; I also had my grandparents, with whom I spent a considerable amount of time, but they too had other things to tend to."He", however, always made me #1. (Unless of course I did not "satisfy" him, or when I got older and started to resist)
My point is, I believe, IT IS NORMAL. It's not the "act" we desire at all, it's the acceptance, love, and attention we crave.
Hope this isn't upsetting and hope it helps, at least a little bit.