i'm sure it's frustrating for him when he doesn't really understand your behavior and because you don't either it's doubly frustrating. when you need information from him just say straight out, I know you don't like talking about this but my t wants information from your point of view. can I ask you some questions and get honest answers. I will not let them affect me emotionally. and then follow through with that last statement. thank him, and make the rest of the day "normal" and happy. stay in a good mood even if you don't want to. (as long as that's possible anyway ) and let him know that unless someone tells you what your doing there's no way for you to know to work on it. Also remember that because of his frustrations whatever answers he gives you will probably be laced with emotions that you can not take to heart.