Someone pretending I don't exist is a real catalyst to fury for me. It definitely doesn't diffuse my anger - its like pouring fuel on a fire.

But a calm response, and willingness to discuss the issues, rapidly leads to me calming down and enables me to engage in a more rational and caring resolution of the issues.

I am really blessed to have such a wise and caring wife who has supported me by learning about what we are living with (Bipolar 1), and working with me on ways to deal with the issues.
I too have had to make efforts to be open with her about everything in order to retain her trust. In manic phases, that trust is very vulnerable, and by keeping nothing from her, we stand a better chance of minimising my foolish decisions and actions that can push an episode into catastrophe.

holdingonhope, before I was diagnosed, my wife would do things that on the surface seem minuscule in the greater scheme of things. Yet there was something underlying those little things that really hurt me made my blood boil. Medical treatment has helped me deal with anger triggers with a slower, more manageable anger. I am better able to rationally decide what action to take, and avoid impulsive actions that I will probably regret. It enables me to respond more often with love and respect and to resolve conflicts peacefully. I'm hoping psychotherapy will lead to further insights into what issues I need to address and to develop better coping mechanisms.

I admire you for your proactive effort to learn more about your man's condition, and hope you get some good ammo that will help you both cope better.

TS