Can you teach your husband to say stock phrases, "Thanks, I got the deodorant!" (maybe if he tells you he got it you won't keep reminding him?) or, to give you a bottle of water if you're thirsty, etc.? It sounds like you were not acknowledged much as a child either and maybe some of your repetitiveness is just trying to get heard. I know I talk too loud still when I'm anxious (I'm 62) sometimes because I was youngest of 5 children and had trouble getting my say with my siblings being bigger/older.

I'm sorry he has trouble talking about it to help you with your pdoc and therapist.