Redbandit, I think everyone has trouble opening up with strangers; yes some have more trouble than others but it can be done eventually if you want. Just about anything can be done eventually if one wants?

I think like anything, there are degrees of disability. Your husband, nmac (Welcome to PsychCentral (PC) by the way :-) could just have a harder time than you. Too, people are raised with greater/lesser emphasis placed on different habits? I would see if you could help your husband some with starting new, better habits that will help him not annoy you so much? You could encourage his telling you when he remembers he needs something, say something like, "I'll put that on my phone grocery list" let him know such a list exists and you welcome additions to it?

I had a funny time with my husband last night; he was opening packages of undershirts and swim trunks, pajamas, etc. he got in the mail yesterday and was carefully putting the staples, tags, extra bags, etc. into one bag and wasn't finished when I threw that bag away (looking at the bed with piles of clothes, different bags, and he sitting there like a child with his little pair of scissors was making me crazy :-) and he got all upset as he had his system going. I kept bugging him, too, because I asked him what size the clothes were (he's a big man, very very rarely buys his own clothes) and he answered he didn't know! But there was a lot he was doing that was bothering me and that's not right, since it is his project and he is responsible for himself.

I would not worry about how he keeps his office unless he complains about it? That it looks messy and random to us, that's his to deal with? The trash issue I would just ask him nicely each time if he would go throw the trash away and leave it there for him to do. I found with my husband that he does not notice anything at all but, with three brothers, it is my experience that guys weren't taught like women to notice what needs doing around the house? My husband will clean up the dishes, etc. but leave all the surfaces near water covered in water he doesn't even dry his hands well when he washes them and then gets the stair banister wet, etc.