A few days ago, I responded to a young man with a certain nickname. In fact, I was the only one to respond to his problem. Yesterday, I was informed that the nickname was offensive to half the members of the board. I took this as gospel, even though I didn't understand why it was offensive. (So he's eating Canada's national animal, so what?)

I thought the situation was funny in the category of black humour so I told my attendant friend who's worked with me for six years. And I told her the name.

She said: "You do know the sexual connotations behind that name, don't you?"

Me: (completely in the dark): "No."

Then she explained it to me. And I felt completely humiliated. Angry at my ignorance and how I could be so naive! I could kick myself.

I have lived a very sheltered life, in part due to the fact that my parents were very overprotective, in part because they verbally abused me severely and I isolated myself completely as a result. I am book smart, but certain areas I am completely in the dark about.

Sex is one of them. I came into college not knowing what a condom was, or what a gay or a lesbian was. I knew how babies were made, but that was only by chance research on my own. Anything else on sex, I am completely in the dark about. I have never been on a date with anyone, never held hands, never kissed and never made love.

I am 33 years old and the idea of research into these things sickens me.

Which means I am very ignorant. When someone told me that "You're not wearing a bra under your shirt," I didn't have the good sense to be scared. Someone could do certain things and be sexually attracted to me and I would be completely in the dark about what they intended to do. I need protection more than anything, before I am assaulted.

Which means I don't know if certain names are deeply offensive or not.

Please forgive me if I have given offense.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.