I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. The Day Program helps a lot of people including me. I'm sorry you have such low veiw of yourself just because you were in day treatment. You need to let go of this shame and guilt, it will only cause you grief in the future. You probably want like my suggestion but I would consider counseling to help overcome this. If you are still holding on to so much pain for this long it might help. Wishing you the best. Wish I had a better answer for you.
Gayle