Your thought process overall is quite good. You realize that she is the woman she is as a cumulative result of her past experiences, and that you love that cumulative result and not some sort of an unrealistic notion of her without her past. So you are well on track. I think you will eventually get there on your own, without help.

In terms of invading her privacy - if she does not mind, just keep invading until you get tired of it. Eventually you will have gotten your fill and will feel bored. If she minds, that is a different issue. Apparently she does not mind. So it is easier to give in to the compulsion than to fight it. One of the quickest ways to deal with temptation is to experience what you consider tempting. Per Oscar Wilde, it is actually the only way - I would disagree on the "only" part though...
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it... I can resist everything but temptation. - Oscar Wilde at BrainyQuote "