Hi shadowrock. As you might discern from my username, I am familiar with those burning, intense feelings. That level of connection or attachment is so painful, and so meaningful, for those of us who form it.

I am not sure how to help, except to tell you that you are not alone in this. I think I understand what you mean about being afraid to lose that connection, that perhaps in "working through it" you will lose the depth of security and confidence it gave you to plumb the deepest parts of yourself, to get out of your own head a bit. I know that, for me, my attachment to my T has enabled me to begin healing some very deep wounds, and that if I hadn't formed that connection I would not have even begun to approach that part of me. I probably would never have even been able to acknowledge that I had those wounds.

Like you indicated, I tend to be very "heady" during therapy, analytical and thoughtful, but a little skittish when it comes to being very vulnerable and open about the deep places. Having such deep trust and connection with my T caused me to allow her to re-parent me in a way, and create a space where I feel safe enough to explore my feelings for her, study their meaning, and use them to heal myself. Without those feelings, I would never have gone there.

My guess is (and it is a guess, because I am still "working through") that, in exploring these feelings with your T, you will not eliminate them. Rather than denying or escaping from them, you will dive into them, discover their meaning for you, and find a way to assimilate them into your life. Working through them does not necessarily mean finding a way to eradicate them--rather, it's using them to discover more about yourself, and heal. And it sounds like your T has a good handle on how to help you do that.

I can't tell you what they will mean to you, but I can tell you that my feelings for my T have shown me how to connect in a deep, profound, fundamental way with another human being, someone I trust and who has my best interests at the forefront, and liberated me from a lot of fear and restriction that interfered with my ability to connect with others in my life. I now feel much more capable of relating intimately with the people I care about in "real life." Yes, it can be frustrating, painful, and sometimes embarrassing to have those feelings, but if used wisely by both you and your T, they can be liberating and enormously helpful.

Good luck. Stay in touch here; it is a good place to vent and share safely. And please, if you are so inclined, let us know how it turns out!