I have been gone a while working on my studies in college. Emotional roller coaster has calmed down some since I am trying to focus on studies while I removed myself from toxic people including family and try to stay away from triggers.

I had got the diagnosis of CPTSD & PTSD....I was neglected by my mother after her and my dad's divorce because she had to work 3 jobs to take care of me and my older siblings.I was abandoned by my father after divorce.I was 4years old.I grew as adult never really knowing what love is or felt like.I have been pretty much emotionally abused my whole life. Then more trauma in between losing my daughter's father....Then a horrible car accident.This is my summary of my CPTSD & PTSD.

My question to the PC is one of my older siblings is getting married in another state next month. I am not going....I cannot go and see my father & mother in this event while neither of them have gave me moral support....So I know I am going to be hurt by not going but I will be paralyzed and ruin the wedding if I went, My daughter is probably going....I do not know how to handle these deep lifetime emotions I have had to live with my whole life?

My therapist has been playing a role of a mother for me since I have no moral support....she is trying to do for me what she can do but she say's I'm in a crisis and I need a case worker....well I fell in the cracks of that whole thing so I have to wait for disability or something to happen.I am stuck in a medical web of confusion and getting nowhere. I am so deeply hurt sometimes I wonder why me?How do I suppose to handle this by myself and a T for 45min a week?I am trying my hardest by believing and talking to a higher power, reading self help books, gardening, sleeping, anything peaceful....living day by day trying to pick up pieces of me broken and shattered. HELP