I should clarify that my snooping has been surreptitious. I have not told her I have been doing this and do not plan to tell her any time soon, as I imagine it would cause hurt more than it would solve anything. I think I'd like to tell her one day, but for now I think as long as I can stop I can in good conscience not confess immediately.

She does not know I read the journals describing a fling's "huge ****" or the e-mail telling her ex how she did not like the **** sex they had the night before. She doesn't know I opened the drawer with the condoms.

But she DOES know that I have been dwelling on her past sex life and am having discomfort about it.

On snooping until I have "had my fill"--I really do not like this idea at all. If she said "These are my old journals. Read them if you want." that would be one thing, but she has not said that, and my reading them violates a tacit trust.

I am seeing a therapist and have skirted around the issue with my therapist. I see the therapist next week and am trying to decide if I want to go alone and tell my therapist about my snooping, or go with my fiance and discuss my insecurities together without talking about the snooping.