He's at it again. The violence. He's mass drinking and smoking mass pot and hash oil. I have no control over him. He just thrashed my room and punched 20 holes in his bathroom door last night. I want him out, I'm done. He'll be 18 in November. I can't stand him, my irritability if off the charts. We're feeding off each other and I feel evil coming on.

We / he has court in 1 week. He hasn't followed the rules he was supposed to, hasn't quit the pot, hasn't called his probation officer, he yells at me to do the dishes when I've worked all day and bought all the food.

He has court... I don't think I'll even go in this time. I don't feel like sticking up for him and making excuses for him. I want them to place him somewhere out of the home. I've tried, I'm done, I give up. I hate his father, hate that he left me with this, hate that he has no ethics, never paid child support.

My son threatens to report me neglecting 11 yr old little brother. I have to leave him home alone during the day in the summer so I can work. He has a different dead beat dad. I sure can pick em...

You know what , let them take them , let them take me , lock me in padded room , I'm done , fine. Past few days I'm fighting for my life , stopping myself from hurting myself.

I need a break from them. I have no one to ever relieve me of mom duties. No family around.

My daughter 19 is moving back in, bf's mom / my old therapist kicking her out of their place.

Son has history of physically abusing my daughter, she is scared to come home. She has nowhere else to go.

I feel all the evil starting over. All the progress I'd thought we made, all for nothing. I want him out of my house. I want out of my own life.

My best friend doctor wants to die too, we fantasize about ways to do it. I'm ****n twisted in the head. Should we do it dramatic or peaceful, etc... twisted. Then I feel so guilty even having those thoughts.

I really did try my best with the kids, but I was too soft, and often depressed. I doubt the older 2 will ever even hold a job. I've always worked. They do both have bp dx, guess they can apply for disability.

I'm so scared he'll get violent and hurt us again. He hasn't been hospitalized in 8 months. I feel it coming on and I'm scared. At least one of us is going to be hospitalized, 5150'd. Maybe it's my turn, I've never been. Maybe my mom across the country could take my 11 yr old. Older 2 can fend for themselves since they don't want to follow my rules. But I'd likely lose my job... then what.

Now he just walked in sorry for thrashing my room, trying to clean it up. I love him, but I can't live like this. I hate this life. At least now maybe he's calm enough that I can go out to kitchen and finally eat something. I've lost 20 lbs last 6 weeks on this hypo, I barely eat. The lovely hypo that's now turned evil hypo on me.