High Treason,
I am 42. I dated in the first two scenarios for the majority of my 20s and 30s, not realizing I was disrespecting myself. Now I care, but am still having a hard time finding a man w respect for me and himself. Drunks, groupers, one-nite-stands...it is all SOOOOOOOOO BORING! Kudos to u for restraining from "boozed up" sex. Maybe for the third date a picnic if u live in an area conducive to it? Wine, cheese, and such. Find out about who she is and what she dreams of.
- meh... My two cents.
Good luck