I think you know the answer to that? And no, self-harm is not the way to go.

Hello and welcome to PC

Am sorry that you're feeling how you feel - it's rotten living in someone's shadow.. but as someone who has walked away from her family, please think carefully before you walk away from your family completely. Sure, if you feel better becoming independent then do it, paying for your own things etc would happen soon enough anyway. But please don't do anything extreme until you really know for sure that this is the right thing. I wonder if talking to your parents would help improve things?

I think perhaps some therapy may be of use? Is there anyone at college that can help? You need to learn to like yourself and also an outlet I think, and perhaps talking to a therapist would be a better way to go about it than cutting..

And... I know it may sound silly to you now, but I wonder if you think about it objectively that there are qualities about you that are better than your sister.. and I don't mean that it has to be academic. I bet too there are aspects to your sister that fall short of perfect because nobody is perfect. I wonder too if she finds the pressure of her parents and teachers to be perfect secretly very hard too! Sure, some folk are smart, and some not as smart but that's nothing to be ashamed of. We are all different with different skills and qualities and I think the most important thing we can do is to do our best. That's something to be proud of and nobody can take that away.

Please look after yourself..
Hugs