I'm not sure I know what you mean by a cookie cutter family but your parents certainly are not sensitive to your needs and feelings. If you feel going to stay with your grandparents would be selfish and ungrateful why not ask your grandparents to sit with you while you talk to your parents about how you feel? That way you will have someone there who is on your side and not afraid to speak frankly to your mom and dad. They could act as moderators. Also, if there is someone at your school that you trust you can talk to them about your OCD fears. You do not need to include any information about your family. Just talk about you.

It sounds like things are very difficult for you and I hope you are able to get help soon. You do not need to be going through all this anxiety.