I was raised by a narcisstic step mother. Only now am I begining to realise that her "hypercrisy" was hidden by her "charming" moments. So many times as a child when mum became charming did I once again raise my hope up and open my heart to her...thinking this TIME! this time she will "see" me and "care" about me...only to be beaten down again by the self deception she lived in...

I realise now that she was being charming only at times that her ego was being fed...or she was getting something...I mistook that for sincereity as a child...and now when I seeing others acting in the same deceptive manner...it triggers my ptsd off big time....

I want to scream "Liar! Liar!" but I'm afraid I will go just as unheard as the small child I once was went unheard...Because off this my truth has become distorted to the point that I counter untruths/inserserity with to much off my truth...I want to off load the anger I had to swallow all those onto others...but I am finding that just leaves me just as alone as I once was..

All I can do today is be true to me...listen to myself...take time to understand myself....be sincere with myself.....hold my feelings within me and nurse and care for them instead of putting them out there....

I'm not sure if this is really appropriate to the tone of this thread...but I came across it and it is just something I was dealing with today after visiting with my now elderly narcissistic step mother...which though hard to do is part of my healing..I get to validate "ME" and all my wounded parts...