I am still not doing well. I am still having feelings of SH/SI. I think if my mom wasn't home I would hurt myself some how. My body feels like it is shaking, but I don't seem to be really shaking.

I am hating myself and everything about me. I went to the support group but did not go in. I just couldn't make myself go in. I have never been to a group before so made I was afraid to go in.

Why can't I just stay better? Instead of this rollercoast I am on. My life is just one mess up after another. I can't seem to do anything right.

Some times I want it to all end so I don't have to be depressed anymore. I know that is not the answer but I feel that way.

I really want to hurt myself and make the pain go away, if only for a moment.