Hey,

When I was a kid my dad routinely beat the crap out of mom and there were a couple times us kids got it too. I remember one time my sister had a friend over and called the cops and they hauled dad away. I was so angry with her. I thought she was an idiot as that is not how we handled the situation. Abuse laws were pretty lax back them, so dad was back the next morning, but I was still angry. (He actually was hauled off several times, but that was the one time I knew who called).

Now as an adult looking back, I realized she did the right thing. Mom never got beaten because of what she did. Dad made it sound as if she did. Abusers are fantastic manipulators. They can twist things around and make you believe things that are untrue. It gives them a false power and shields their pain. Abusers abuse because of who they are, not who the abused are.

What they do is not acceptable, nor is your abuse to them, unless what you speak of is self-defense. Yes, your dad is going to be held accountable for the crime he committed, and some day so will you if you don't stop.

What do you hope to get out of life? Where do you see yourself when you're 20. 25, 30? Living at home, getting your ***** kicked by your mom? Or do you hope to live your life? What will you do when she's gone?

Right now your situation sucks and there's not much you can do to make today better, but you can work on your tomorrow. I get why you don't want your mom in jail. You love her as I love my father. Also, being a ward of the state isn't fun, but neither is living the rest of your life this way.

Are you happy currently? Then I'd say don't do anything. Continue to physically act out with your rage, don't go back to school, allow your mother to tighten her grip for the rest of her life. Or do something about it.

Don't believe people who tell you that you are incapable of taking care of yourself as you move into legal adulthood. Show them your wrong. I was told my teachers and school counselors that I wouldn't never make anything of myself. I was told that college for me was an unrealistic goal. That I would become an abusive alcoholic like my father or would be doomed to end up in a relationship with one. I proved them wrong on every count. Even graduated college with honors.

Right now you're in a hard spot in life. You are dependent on your parents. Most people your age are itching for independence, it sounds as if this has been squelched within you. What you do have going for you as you have plenty of time to pull your life together. Overcome your abusers, don't become one of them. Or do, if you should choose. Continue this path, act out your rage, get your ***** locked up like your dad, but do know if this is what you do, the life you live is of your own doing.