Quote:
Originally Posted by henrydavidtherobot
Out of left field, my boss called me into her office with a list of random things that I was doing at work that pissed her off. I saw where she was coming from with some. It didn't take me long to start crying because my job is something I love and I thought that I actually fit in there. I have a good work ethic and obey the rules when most people don't. It feels so defeating to feel that I am just not fit the function in this world. I apologized for everything. She then changed her tune and asked if I was seeing a therapist, because she thinks it will help me (I have been for years). She then asked me all sorts of questions about my family and hugged me and said she loved me and not to beat myself up over our talk. The encounter baffled my other boss (who is a good friend of mine), my T, and my boy, ESP since she said I was lacking in emotional intelligence, which beyond jealousy, I don't agree with. I often have people straight up tell me that I am intimidating because I am confident, articulate, and smart. I always ask them why that would make it hard to talk with me and they never say because they thought I was mean. I agree about the disconnect, but I feel like its nor my fault. A week ago, I had this girl who was insulting me all night and saying prejudice stuff about Russians get mad at me when I asked "is it not a bad idea to not judge an entire country or to not hate people?" And she said that I wouldn't get it because I'm an American. When I asked her sister if what I asked was so offensive she said no, but you come of as cold. Later, the girl was crying and I bought her candy and talked to her and she got a lot off of her chest and said I was a good person. I feel like this judgment is not me but everyone else. I am being honest. Define heavy stuff.
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Hi, when I say heavy stuff, I mean it's serious, weighty, a lot to deal with. And that's how I interpret a boss randomly dumping on you all the stuff she doesn't like about you, without context or balance. I also think people regularly saying that they find you cold and intimidating is pretty heavy. I've been told by a number of people that I come off as cold and detached, and I can see how people might have that impression. It's not what I'm trying to project to the world, but when I really look at the way I am, I see there's some truth to it. This knowledge has helped me look at the way I am around others and try to choose, in the moment, more productive ways of being.
I enjoy people who are confident, articulate and intelligent, if they're good people and enjoyable to be around. I've known people who are smart and confident and articulate who use these traits as a way of striding through the world to demonstrate how great they are .. for me a total turnoff. I don't know you, but I do get the feeling that there's a piece missing from the picture you've portrayed.