I'm going to keep this short and perhaps sweet (most likely not). Last night during a regularly occurring session of flashbacks and a racing mind to match, I remembered parts of my childhood bit by bit. A lot of my childhood is forgotten, perhaps my brain's way of blocking out the encounters of my youth.

Anyway. Last night came a memory I'd forgotten so much, I've never mentioned it to anybody. When I was younger, I used to sleep at my grandparents' house rather a lot. Every single night, my grandmother ('nanny Richmond') used to give me a mint before I went to sleep. At this point I was perhaps nine, ten or eleven years of age and I remember for numerous months, not eating that mint because I had severe worries about my grandmother/nan trying to poison me. When these instances of delusions occurred, I wouldn't touch that mint. In fact, I'd hide it occasionally and pray it was never found - if she discovered it she'd realise it wasn't working and poison me a different way.

I can't believe I've forgotten all about that. It's only just come to mind - more than eight years since. I also have a vague memory of a nightmare in which I caught my grandmother/nan having sexual intercourse with my mother. I tried screaming and nothing would come out. This was all at the age of 10... Maybe younger!

At the time I was being sexually abused by my neighbour, so perhaps that's why I had such explicit nightmares at such a young age. I'm not completely sure.

We're these, perhaps, an early sign of psychosis? Bipolar Disorder or another disorder slowly beginning to emerge? Should I mention these memories to my psychiatrist now they've revealed themselves?

Help please!
RB