((Spondi)))) There arent any magic phrases to change the way you're feeling, but I hope some honest caring will help a little to lift your blues. Life does seem like an endless circle sometimes doesnt it? Or maybe its a see saw, and the trick is knowing which end is going up and which is going down. I think you hit on something when you said it seems like you're taking one step forward and six steps back. In a truthful assessment, you feel like you've taken six steps back, but, physically at least, you're in about the same place you were yesterday, so, it might be the depression telling you you're sliding backwards. In truth, you're one day older than you were yesterday, one day spent, and even if it seems like you're going backwards, that would be impossible. Time is propelling you into the future at the same pace today as it did yesterday. You just have one less day now.

In your overall assessment of things you've decided that you dont like this picture. Its not what you want, isnt what other people have, doesnt feel right or fit right. That just means you have someplace you want to be and you havent gotten there. It could be that its a place you've already been and you need to go back there; it could be that you've come close but it slipped away again. There are a lot of could be's. It could be you are still going to get there. Hold onto the gains, let the losses slide away as best you can. Little by little. You know what feels right for you. The universe gives us what we need, but it must be within the abilities of the universe to give us what we want. I hope the best for you always.