I'm home now. I should have really been more clear, but I didn't have much time when I responded.

it's just what I do. Not telling anyone else that this is right for them.

I act totally different than I feel most of the time. It feels crazy weird to do, but it's a habit for me now. I'm getting depressed I listen to the most heavy and angry music that I can find. I act out in ways that are usually reserved for happy and excited people. I am really good at this. I guess it's fair to say that I sort of run from my emotions, but not quite... it's more of an "I don't care about what they are or that they even exist. I only care what is happening now and I'll be damned if I'm not going to be the person that I have created myself to be." So for me it's sort of like that. I turn my back on them. period.

the times that I pay attention to them, feed them by analyzing them... man, they rip me up. they can send me on a rollercoaster ride from hell every single time. I have learned that they are like the enemy and I've put up walls against my enemy.

So that is my mindset and how I distance myself from my emotions.

I'll be damned if I let them trigger me again.