Kittenwhispers, I can so relate to that, and I feel badly for you. When I went to a psychiatrist last year, she ordered, not asked, me to go check myself into a psych ward. I refused that, then she said "day program" - which was also insane, I was never suicidal in my life - well, until I met her. In fact, about the very first statement I made to her was "I realized I can't live like this any more, I have to change my life for the better." My problem, btw, was extreme anxiety, panic attacks, total insomnia after receiving death threats on the job, which brought up stuff from an abused childhood. I also told her I would only do outpatient treatment. She completely disregarded that. And ordered me to do the other, and gave me an ultimatum to decide in 36 hours. Or else I guess she was going to have the cops get me.

So, I walked out if that office utterly destroyed. I felt the same as you described it, like a criminal. Betrayed. My self esteem was decimated. I walked in there thinking I had made a good decision or my mental health. And one big thing changed in that instant, I walked out truly suicidal.... I didn't obviously, but it was something I contemplated for a few weeks.... I was that destroyed by how this went down.

Furious at this quack MD, still am, but even more so at myself, because I caved under the pressure and did it. And, it more or less has destroyed my life, or at least life as I knew it. And it still really hurts because I was such a weak man that I couldn't handle this and I couldn't fight for myself. But I have used all of that pain to great advantage. I came to the realization I could do one of two things with this, let it destroy me, or use it as the fuel to propel myself forward and get tough, physically and mentally.

If you are getting bad vibes from this doctor, trust your instincts. If you see this one again, I would state, in plain English exactly as you did here, that this made you feel betrayed, like a criminal, and that you don't think you can trust this doctor. I would say he/she would have to offer up one hell of a good explanation with a twist of apology before I would continue to see him/her. Then you could decide how to proceed.

Finally, this cautionary tale - I did NOT check out the doctor before I went. Big mistake, huge mistake. Did after the fact - found licensing complaints with the state board/regulatory agency, horrible, scathing reviews by former patients on this rate-your-doctor websites, and it appears her admitting privileges at one hospital were dropped, because older archived sites list her, newer do not, and this hospital is 5 miles from her office. ALWAYS check out any doctor thoroughly before you see them. For round two, I did my homework and found a different psychiatrist with excellent reviews, etc, and she is terrific. I was dumb enough, plus my world was turned upside down and things were a mess, I saw the quack about 6 times total, and found her to be harsh, judgemental, cruel, a terrible listener, and the most profoundly dumb things came out of her mouth, I had a number of "WTF, am I really hearing this?" moments in her office.

Never again will I allow myself to be blindsided like that. You have to stand up for yourself and be your best advocate.