how do you get past the wall to the emotions you know are there but can't seem to access? I know I have stuff going on under the surface, but I feel like there's a wall. I can understand that stuff is going on, but I can't figure out exactly what it is. Kinda like standing on a frozen river and watching the water rush away beneath you. There are rocks and fish and debris, but you are on the other side of the ice, and it obscures the view somewhat...
I get this sometimes, and it's usually before I fall head-long back into depression after any time away (I have been out of a major depression for about 2 weeks now). You would think that I could figure out how to see the signs and understand what's going on underneath, but I still have no concrete understanding of what's going on. I have ideas and guesses based on what normally bothers me, but I am never sure if what I think it is will turn out to be what it actually is. And even if I'm correct, I don't really know how to lessen the impact of the depression or process any of it.
Does anyone else experience this ever? How do you handle it?