The urge is seeping back in. I can feel it coming on. I hate the anticipation of the strike... I don't know how to change the course of things. But at least I know it's on it's way. I hate the struggle not to self-harm. I wish I knew how to stop it from coming back, but nothing I do seems to work. I just need to prepare for the inevitable return of urges. Does it ever get better? Or is this something I will fight forever?