Background: Its been half a century, and I'm still going through my "teenage" identity crisis. I have bipolar 1, and cycle several times a week - sometimes holding on by threads, despite the meds.


I fluctuate between outgoing self confidence and crushing depression, which gets some pretty confused feedback from other people. I wonder whether the voices and senses of visions and having the company of invisible "companions" is a spiritual thing, just my crazy brain circuitry, under the influence of some kind of suggestive hypnosis, or whether I'm just confused altogether. No meds change these experiences.

So emotionally, I am a mess. Excited, determined, full of hope, then crashing into immobilising exhaustion and hopelessness, tormented by doubts about my real abilities.

Does anyone else experience mood states having such a confusing effect on their identity?