The following is basically what I plan to hand my doctor tomorrow any sugestions or any support would be greatly appreciated.

12/6/06

I have not been feeling well for quite some time…at first I thought it was because I was trying to do too much (april-may). But when school let out and I had a couple weeks where I just had work, and not a lot of it things didn’t really get any better. When I wasn’t at work I was sleeping. Well then summer classes started and that wasn’t going well…I had absolutely no energu at all and finally gave in and went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in July. My energy really didn’t seem to go up too much, so in late august early September I went back, thyroid was re-checked and it was suggested to go off the Namenda as a side effect is often fatigue to see if that helped. Well school flew into full force and I was working on top of an internship. By the end of September things were not going well. Once again I attributed it to being “overloaded.” I was sick non-stop with various colds from this point on to present day. I was missing days at my internship not contacting them because of headaches, nausea, dizzy or weak feeling oversleeping. I was sleeping 13-16hours working 8 and doingit all over again. I wasn’t making it to much for classes, but my instructors were being reasonable because I could hardly talk. By October things got bad at work but things sorta got better with classes with the exception of the last week and the first two weeks in November. I was doing better despite the fact that I was sick I was pushing myself even when I really didn’t feel well to be at school and work. On oct 23, I made my first of 2 frustrating trips to the ER because of a cold that I was fighting that was so bad that I could not swallow. The dr’s could find nothing wrong, after 2 trips to the er and a trip to the clinic I finally saw and ENT. I had an infection in the lower part of my throat. He put me on antibiotics. I was so glad to finally know what was wrong that I didn’t even think about the fact that in the past every time I am on antibiotics it negatively affects my depression. This was not good timing at all because I was terminated from my job on Nov 1, the ENT apt was on Nov 10. There have been threats made towards me by my former employer, and that issue now is currently in the hands of the North Dakota Department of Labor.
I believe it was the week following that appointment I entered into an agreement not to miss any more hours and follow the schedule that was set by me in order to take an incomplete in the internship. If I missed any days the internship would be terminated at that time and I would get the grade I had earned. When I missed last Tuesday I was able to call and because I had called they gave leniency, but I had to get the school nurse to approve the absence. This is when I first called to try to get an appointment. I finally realized that I am not just “overloaded” things really aren’t going well and having less “on my plate” really wasn’t making things any better. If any thing things seemed to be getting worse. I managed to hold a cheery face for the kids during the day when at night all I wanted to do was hide, sleep and cry. Yesterday, I couldn’t make my self get out of bed. I had taken 1 benadryl prior to bed on Monday night for congestion and other allergy-like symptoms. I was out. I talked to someone on the phone around 7am, but faintly recall that, then was out cold till almost 2pm. I don’t remember anything in those hours. I thus didn’t call the center and obviously wasn’t there. Today my instructor was less than understanding. I was in such a fog and so angry at my self when I woke up yesterday that I thought that I e-mailed her explaining my absence, but I hadn’t so today she came to the center and told me that my internship was over effectively immediately, I would not fail, but my internship was over. I spent the next 2 hours in tears trying to grasp what had just happened. She basically said that she didn’t think that I am mentally and physically healthy enough to handle this right now and so it is over. I am angry that I feel like I was ignored when I cried out for help last week……I said that things had not been going well for quite some time but yet I feel as though I was pushed aside, and because of it things got worse and I am now in grave danger of failing one class and will likely get a D in my internship unless I can somehow get the instructor to believe me that I have been trying to get in and that it really is possible for things such as sleeping for long periods of time to happen.
Since I was told my internship is over I can barely keep myself composed and can’t concentrate on anything. I had to take a final test and I couldn’t concentrate and in fact part of the time I couldn’t even see straight.


Notes from 11/29/06
Things I notice

• Constant fatigue…one week when decreased dose where I was not tired (sleep 15-20hrs, still tired)
• Either little or too much sleep
• Headache- almost constant
• Extreme low energy

Currently @ 20mg Lexapro
• Took 30, but had to drop to 20 because I could not function-felt like I was in a fog
o Dropped to 20 in late September or early October 2006
o Was already experiencing similar feelings as I am now, but was in denial and thought that some of the fatigue was related to the hours I was putting in between work and school.
 When no longer working this last month….fatigue and other symptoms have worsened…no longer have work to distract me from how I am feeling.

How I feel now: (11-29-06)
• Tired
• Sick to stomach
• Headaches/migraines
• Lifeless
• Look more dead than alive
• Agitated-can’t be still
• Can’t think straight
• Memory seems to be slipping when stressed….takes effort to remember daily schedule/routines.
• Don’t want to get out of bed
• Nothing seems fun, laughter/smiles are scarce
• Feel weak/ shaky
• When I cry it is short lived unless I “loose control” then I can’t breathe.
• Whole body aches, the more depressed I feel the more I hurt-everywhere
• At times I don’t even care about life or anything that is important, I just do whatever and deal with the consequences later. (ie missing classes risking failure just because I can’t get out of bed.)



http://psychcentral.com/


S C O R E S
If you scored... You may have...
54 & up Severe depression
36 - 53 Moderate/severe depression
22 - 35 Mild to moderate depression
18 - 21 Borderline depression
10 - 17 Possible mild depression
0 - 9 No depression likely


Quiz Name Score Taken
Depression Quiz 77
Severe depression 12/07/06 12:24 am
Depression Quiz 64
Severe depression 12/04/06 11:48 pm
Depression Quiz 66
Severe depression 12/03/06 12:16 pm
Depression Quiz 64
Severe depression 11/29/06 11:58 pm
Depression Quiz 74
Severe depression 11/28/06 04:02 pm
Depression Quiz 66
Severe depression 11/27/06 09:21 pm
Depression Quiz 69
Severe depression 11/25/06 09:55 pm
Depression Quiz 63
Severe depression 11/21/06 01:00 am
Depression Quiz 60
Severe depression 11/20/06 01:47 am
Depression Quiz 61
Severe depression 11/17/06 01:22 am