Tommylee, I am so sorry you are in such a deep dark hole. I have been there so many times. I am lucky though that I don't cut.
Please don't cut anymore. It will get better, I promise. We, sometimes go through things in our lives that are so hard when depression is pulling and pulling trying to put us back in that hole.
Do you have a close friend you could confide in? If so, then you should talk to them and tell them you could use their help right now.
I wish you all the best,
Please don't cut,
Linda