My Support Forums - View Single Post - Controlling husband threaed to take my name off our joint account, help!

healingme4me · Aug 03, 2013 at 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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Hi, thanks for the links and your helpful advice-

I did look up information on here and I found out that my signature would be required to take me off of the joint account. I'm surprised that he put my name down on there to begin with! I don't want to say or do anything that would cause him to take that money and move it to another account in his name only, or in a private one.

If I do decide to leave him, I'm going to be very smart and I'll be ready for everything first. On top of that, I'll wait for the right moment when he has a lot of money in the account and then take most of what's left in there and only leave him with enough to cover a month or two worth of living expenses since I'm not that mean. Lucky, him, ha!

I'm used to the put downs, but that doesn't mean that I think that I deserve them. My self esteem isn't as bad as it used to be. I used to think that I was really part of the problem. Now I know better! I do plan on seeing a domestic violence counselor as well as another support group for people suffering from this soon. Now is not a good time since I'm uh, on my period and I feel like crap now. I'll start looking tomorrow and I''ll go when I'm better. I won't tell him that I'm going to these groups of course!

I'll just say that I'm getting free counseling, that's sort of the truth, lol! I forgot to mention, the $100 a week is for me only. That covers food and gas plus personal items like razors, shampoo, toothpaste, etc...I often get most of that stuff from the dollar store expect for stuff like deodorant and shampoo and conditioner. I often get stuff on sale.

I used to go grocery shopping with him but I stopped since I couldn't deal with him nagging me to death to not spend too much money and rushing me to hurry up and get what I need and get out. He'd also fart loudly in the store most of the time too, ugh! He just buys stuff for himself. I'm so much happier w/o dealing with the stress and his rudeness! Not to mention the fact that he'd let his pants sag so low that half his butt was exposed in public, lol! He never cared about that at all!

Regarding healthcare, we used to have it, but the premiums kept on getting raised and I think that he really couldn't afford it anymore. I'm not sure about now though, but I have seen the letters from the IRS for the last few years, I don't think that he's lying about owing them so much. He told me in an email the other day that he's almost done paying them the remaining $10000 he owes them from 2012.

He said that he just paid them or is going to pay them $5,000. He said nothing about what the plan is exactly and he didn't answer my last email, but I'll get an answer from him even if I have to nag him to death! He always tries to not answer my questions, but I'll get him to somehow. He told me that he doesn't have the time to look into insurance companies and that I should look for one that's affordable.

We have already been denied once by Kaiser since I have a pre existing condition(s). We used to have Blue Cross and every year they'd raise our rates up to $1,000 for each of us regardless of the fact that we're not getting any new or special treatments! Ugh! He is a stubborn idiot who thinks that he's Superman and he thinks that Drs. are scam artists who try to scare you into thinking that you need medical care when you don't. He told me that the body can heal itself. I hate to say this, but sometimes I wish that he'd get really sick or get really bad back and neck pain like me. Maybe he'd seek help then! I think that he's just cheap and that he doesn't care if I get sick or not!

I'll also look into health care. What health insurance companies are good for accepting people with numerous issues that's affordable? I'll look into things and then bug him to death to get health insurance!

Angie

Angie

I realize, something like what I am about to recommend, may not be admissible in a courtroom, but could be used, to show your attorney, if and when you do ever decide to leave him. And I would advise, being very careful, that he were never to discover this. But a digital voice recorder, could come in handy, to 'prove' the verbal abuse that you endure.
I find, lots of times, there are those in society, that feel that people exaggerate the reality of verbal abuse, and the reality is, that once you play back, these recordings, it can show, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what you are enduring. They range, as cheap as $20-30 and can go higher in price. If your computer, isn't key logger traced and you have the ability to have privacy on it, you can upload these recordings. Or even upload, at the library to a USB or an external hard drive, that you could/should keep in a safe place.
If you don't know, if your home computer is key logged, there are free on-line software tutorials that can help you identify this type of monitoring!!